Today I'm putting into motion the end a 25+ year affair. I don't think that my mistress even knows it's happening. And I hate to blindside her, she's been there through some of the roughest and some of the best times. But it's not out of spite that I do this. She's just no good for me. Bacon biscuit, bottle of water and my first Chantix pill.
Here's to me not climbing a bell tower.
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That's how my day started yesterday. I'm quitting smoking. I'm taking Chantix to help me along on my recovery from this addiction. And believe me, it's an addiction much like any other. You can argue that this is way easier than recovering from or just plain out quitting drugs or alcohol and I would argue that you are wrong. This particular flavor of addiction is easier to stay with because it's there and easy to grab. I live in a community where just walking into a liquor store is something that would be seen. I used to drink quite heavily and one of the perks of moving back home is that I'm always in view of everyone.So no more worries of alcoholism getting to me. I'm on the straight an narrow as far as that is concerned.
Somehow the same doesn't hold true for smoking. It's more accepted for some reason as just something that happens. I wish it was just as shameful for me.
As I wrote yesterday, smoking has been there for me through the rough and the good times. I do enjoy smoking. But it has come time that we part ways. It's expensive, it's unhealthy and I just don't want it anymore.
I'm done. The medicine hasn't had time to kick in yet, but I already don't want to smoke although I have.
I'm taking my second pill as soon as my biscuits I've just cooked have cooled off and I can slap some bacon on one.
No vivid dreams or feelings of depression yet. No mystery aches or pains. It's all in the mind.
Here's to "clean" living.
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