30.68 miles this week biking and walking. I beat and bettered my goal.
Now the rest of the story. (I miss Paul Harvey)
That's not me. But, poor fella, that's how I felt.
I used to be a soldier. During those years I was in shape, not just in shape, I was damn near super human. I know its an illusion that the young have that they are invulnerable, but Uncle Sam put into me what I put into the tasks he set for me, and it paid off.
I ate what he fed me and did what he said. I reaped the benefit of physical and mental well being from this. It is, quite simply, who i was. I respected myself. And from that respect of self, some would call it overconfidence, others respected me.
Have you ever met someone that you can tell doesn't really think much of themselves? It's in their body language, their demeanor. You can't respect them can you? No you can't. Because they know deep down that they don't respect themselves. This is where the core of my problem lies. I have to like me. It matters to a point that others do. But I have to.
Here is where I stood about a month ago, maybe a little more. In front of the mirror not liking what I saw. A flabby, out of shape, shadow of what I used to be. And finally after all these years, I got the mind set I needed. This was enough.
So with a diet change I started losing a bit. I felt better. I dropped the Mt. Dew which I have relied on for so long. I don't even miss it now, though I have allowed myself one twice in the last month. My calorie intake has changed drastically. I do eat some junk food, but you gotta control how much you take in. Portion control is the key to most anything I eat. I used to eat til I got full. Now I eat and I am satisfied. Big difference. Fruits are back in my daily diet. A good sized salad with grilled chicken is a treat. Read that again, a salad is a treat. My bedtime snack now is grapes and clementines. Very tasty, and so filling.
About two weeks ago, exercise came into the picture. I have not exercised in years. Decades. I started out slow. Walking a couple of miles a day last week. Sometimes one, sometimes two. One day I walked three. Then I knew it. It's on.
This week I have either biked or walked 5+ miles a day. I have been sore and tired. Damn near broken somedays. And I have come to the point of pushing myself so hard that I was nearly in tears. But I am very proud that I have that soldier I used to be telling me I can do it. And I guess the imaginary drill sergeant telling me I am going to do it. I swear that I can hear Sgt. Hoopenbecker screaming at me sometimes. And that's okay. It's a good kind of crazy.
I pushed myself once this week to nearly six miles.
Today, I hiked while geocaching with a friend. We left the cars at the main parking area and walked for 4.2 miles. It has been years since I did a hike like that for caching. I miss it.
So here I am tonight writing this. I started a little over a month ago at 226 pounds. I have weighed myself but I have not posted what I have lost. Mostly because I would be ashamed if after all this hard work I had lost nothing.
Friday I weighed myself like everyday, first thing in the morning, mostly unclothed. :)
And the big unveil here is that I weigh 210 pounds now. I have knocked out 16 pounds. I am happy with that. But I am not stopping there. Next goal is 200. And on until I get to what might not be my perfect weight for my height and all, but what will make me happy.
I have no illusions about ripped abs or anything like that. I may not have the body structure for that. But I can be where I want to be. And I am perfectly okay with that.
And I have to say that I am exceedingly thankful to my friends here, my family, and my friends in circles on G+. Y'all have been supportive and encouraging. And that is a bigger help than you might think it is when you write something nice and go on about your day. It really does mean something to me. So thanks!
